Although only mentioned in one book (Book 5), Calypso plays an incredibly important role in The Odyssey. It is on her island that Odysseus lives for eight years, and it also her island that provides the natural resources to make the raft that takes him almost all the way to the land of the Phaecians. Although abundant with resources and beautiful plants (check out the description in V.63-74 and V.237-242), Odysseus has grown tire of this paradise. Calypso loves Odysseus deeply and expresses regret when she learns that the gods disapprove and cannot condone her love for a mortal man. Calypso offers Odysseus immortality, if he will only stay on Ogygia. Odysseus, of course, chooses to return to Ithaca and Penelope. Odysseus seems to acknowledge what a privilege it would be to remain on Ogygia with Calypso, but knows that as a mortal, he must choose a mortal life, even if it promises more sorrow and pain.
For Odysseus to accept this offer of conditional immortality, he would need to forgo his previous identity. Odysseus is unwilling to give this identity up, especially for a woman. Until Hermes visits Calypso, Calypso is clearly taking on a dominant role in the relationship, providing sustenance, shelter, and companionship (even if that last bit is not wholly welcome). It seems to me that Odysseus must reject Calypso's offer if he wants to retain his masculinity and rightful role as war hero and man.
-Rebecca
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